Really? That's all you've got? One suggestion? You guys would be duds at the Comedy Club!
But, one's all I need. I shall now riff on Trader Joes, since I don't have much more to say about rice than I said here. I never did buy the rice cooker, btw. I realized that my heavy faux-Calphalon does just fine. One more appliance not to store.
Now to my stand-up routine. Trader Joe's. What is it about Trader Joe's? [Pause for laughs.] Do they slip drugs in their 2 Buck Chuck or something? The place is a cult. When I lived in LA, it was truly freaky. You'd compliment someone on their crackers and they'd get all excited: "I got them at Trader Joe's!" People would open their cupboards and pull out bags of food and say "Look what I got at Trader Joe's!" Weird. You never hear people say "Look what I got at Safeway!" Right? It's a store, people. You didn't have to brave the Amazon to get those Turkey Cilantro Mini Wontons and the Gluten-Free Flax Seed Toaster Waffles.
Bend got a Trader Joe's a few years ago, to much buzz, anticipation and excitement. I'm going to confess something here: I've never been to it. To me, the place is suspect. Weird private-label packaging, Hawaiian shirts, overly happy people, I don't know. There's something not quite right about it.
And about that Two-Buck Chuck. "It's just as good as the expensive wine!" No, it's not. You just can't tell the difference.
Thanks, I'll be here all week! Don't forget to tip your waitperson.



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